Its that time again.
Just switched it on an Moldavia are on, are really cool man is rapping as he wheels around the stage on a kids scooter.
Oh here we go for Israel,old onto your hats. oh sitting on a piano and singing, nice start if only he could sing.
Latvia! A start to remember, oh shit they have a little robot AAAH ha ha he has microphones for hands. Ah and a little heart shaped balloon.
Oh Norway now. MMmmm floaty, nice wind effect
Spain - skinhead lady dancers with some bints singing, lazy ones that cant even be bothered to get out of their chairs. Oh no hold on one of them is getting abit saucy with one of the lady skinhead dancers.
Its hurting my eyes trying to write this ongoing commentary and watch the telly.
Malta - oh not the first act that has been consulting the Oxford book of cliches. But hey that is a swanky cummerbund. With chains? Sort of a grunge barry manilow thing going on there. Oh hitting the height eight.
Germany. Oh smokers lips is singing German country and western. Why not I say. My wife likes it but she likes dolly parton. ha ha its quite good (comparatively)
Denmark- she is irritating me in the same way as that stok aiken and wartyman 'sonia' bit. Mock enthusiasm, I hate mock enthusiasm. Oh rock and roll breakdancing. If they win I will eat my hat.
Russia - the man has too much wasted crotch room in his pants. AAAh there is a living statue climbing out of a piano. WHY GOD WHY. Its not right
former Yugoslav republic of Macedonia - bore me more.
Romania - nice eyeshadow mate and nice squeaky bit height eight
Bosnia & Herzegovina - he looks a little bit tired, maybe he has been trying to become an early riser. Mock passion in the singing, pah. gets a big cheer.
Lithuania - a little presumptuous - 'we are the winners of eurovision' - what the hell? its nuts. he he I like them.
UK - oh the shame
Greece - A bit negative I think, cool dress though, *ahem*
Finland- GWAR its got my vote! ha ha ha ha yeah its really funny. Hold on what if they really are satanic minions, oh now I'm a bit scared.
Ukraine - huh skipping?
France - sucky music, most French music is (Mc solar aside)
Croatia - canny pins
Ireland - my shaky head ' say hello to my shaky little head' Irish hair rules. Oh hes down on one knee , mmm added pathos, nice.
OH I cant be bothered anymore, they all suck in a watchable sort of way see you later for the results